"what would you do if you won the lottery?"
You always have that one follower who attacks your notifications in the middle of the night and goes through your blog, reblogging everything in sight.
And you’re just like:
i need a hot boy who thinks they’re really ugly so they think im out of their league but actually they are way out of my league
me: *drinks water* health god
FILED UNDER: JOKES I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AS A CHILD
they were talking about his height
They had not met him yet. This was a penis joke.
my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed
in case you were having a bad day, here’s a picture of Yo-Yo Ma, the famous cellist, on the floor of a bathroom with a wombat
So I was playing with my rats today and..
me when my mom is more than 5 minutes late picking me up
'do it for the vine'